Igor Strikes Again…Kaaaaahhhhnnnnnn!!!
Posted by Karakash Under Видео, THE BENCH, The Igor's on Saturday Jul 31, 2010It was a long rainy night…
Few minutes before midnight, on 11 July 2010, David Kahn was sitting in his office, watching a video tape, with the draft night ’03 on it.
Meanwhile, Michael Beasley enters the office.
MB: Good evening sir. You wanted to see me…
Kahn: Shhh… (in the same moment on the tape the Pistons are telling the audience that they are taking Darko Milicic like a second pick in the first round of the draft…)
Look at him. Just look at this glorious man standing tall and proud next to David Stern (makes a ridiculous satisfying face). Just look at that beautiful smile, those teeth that are shining, even more than the ones of Magic Johnson…
MB: Sir, I think that’s a very nice hyperbole u r saying.
Kahn: What?! Are u trying to say that I am lying?!
MB: No, no. But it’s fact that almost everybody thinks that Magic is the one in the NBA with a beautiful smile…
Kahn: Magic WAS the one with the smile, but now it’s Milicic, the best player in the NBA, the best player of all time.
MB: But sir, all NBA players are saying that the best player now is Kobe…
Kahn: Yeah, yeah…I know. Kobe this, Kobe that…No one realizes that THE ONE is definitely DK#31, not KB#24.
MB: DK? You mean DM, right?
Kahn: No, u moron! DK!
MB: Ooo, I get it. DK is his nickname, right?
Kahn: Yes. U know, after all, u r not so stupid (smiles).
MB: Thank u sir. But what does DK means? Drift killer? Like the Japanese dude in ”Fast n furious – Tokyo drift”?
Kahn: I was happy about u for a couple of minutes, but now I see that u really are VERY STUPID MAN! DK means DARK KNIGHT!!! You know, like Batman- superhero. Get it???
MB: Yeah, yeah. But that’s Manu’s nickname sir. You know, the accident with the bat…
Kahn: Nigga, we can’t say that Manu is Batman or Batmanu just because he killed ONE bat! And for your information, Batman doesn’t kill bats.
MB: Ooo, now I get it. So, u r trying to say that Dark Knight Milicic loves bats? (smiles happily like he gets it for real)
Kahn: Are u serious?
MB: Yeah! And I am happy too! (smiles again)
Kahn: (makes a disappointing face) Whatever…
MB: So, why did you called me?
Kahn: Well, u know that tomorrow is the trade, when u officially become one of us…
MB: Yeah, I know. And I am looking forward to it. Honestly, I was scared to stay in Miami and win a title with the big 3, because I think that I am too young for that. But here I know that that’s not gonna happen.
Kahn: Well, unfortunately, for u, THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN HERE IN MINNESOTA!
MB: How?
Kahn: What do u mean how? Did u forget that now we have DK – THE BEST PLAYER IN THE NBA OF ALL TIME!
MB: Sir, I know that now we have Milicic, but according to everyone in the world, Michael Jordan is the BEST OF ALL TIME!
Kahn: Maybe, but that’s just for now. And to remind u – in 2004 DK won NBA title with the Pistons, so now in Minnesota he has to win 6 more, like Jordan did in Chicago, and pass MJ with 7 titles, and then he will officially be THE BEST!
MB: OK sir. Now let’s get back to the trade.
Kahn: Yes. I have some questions for u. Which number would u like to be on your jersey? 30?
MB: Well, I was thinking and I would like to have 8 on my back.
Kahn: Why 8?
MB: Because Roger Mason is my favourite player and I think that he is the best. After Milicic, of course.
Kahn: Yeah, u r right. Mason is a hell of a player – he’s got 3-point shot, he is black, and…Well, that’s enough for such a great player like him. But I am talking about Roger Mason, not Desmond Mason.
MB: I know. Desmond Mason is the one that won the slam dunk contest in 2001, when he jumped over a man and dunked. BIG DEAL! Roger can do that too.
Kahn: Definitely. I wanted to ask u something. I haven’t told anyone, and I would like to hear your opinion.
MB: Sure. What’s the whole thing about?
Kahn: I am thinking of renaming the team and changing our official logo.
MB: WHAT?! WHY?!
Kahn: That’s why. Now listen…I want to replace the wolf that is on the logo with a picture of Dark Knight Milicic showing his teeth, angrily, and showing that he is the one that is hungry for winning. And maybe we will put a pair of bat wings in the back of the logo, because of his new nickname. So what do u think?
MB: Well, it could be good.
Kahn: What do u mean ”it could be good”? It’s gonna be the best logo that the league has ever had.
And talking about renaming, I am thinking to rename the Minnesota Timberwolves in MILICIC TIMBERWOLVES!
A?! What do u think?!
MB: Great, sir! Very great!
Kahn: Haha! I knew u would like it! Well that’s all for now. See u tomorrow. And don’t tell anyone about this, I want to surprise DKM and that is going to be a ”thank u” gesture.
MB: OK sir. Anything else?
Kahn: Yes. I almost forgot. Don’t smoke marijuana anymore, OK? You can take some heroin now, because it’s better when a man makes changes in his life.
MB: OK sir. See u tomorrow. Bye!
Kahn: Bye!
END





